grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
