I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize