You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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