There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize