a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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