They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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