I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize