I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
