I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well I just put wine in my tea
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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