1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize