My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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