No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
