I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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