dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
