Umm I'm too high to move.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
