oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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