so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
