9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
