did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
