College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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