Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
