Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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