i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
