I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize