Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
