Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
well you can't waste a boner
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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