direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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