We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
