I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
