Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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