she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
