Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize