Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
