i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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