"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
