1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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