okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize