Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
