we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize