..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
