my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize