Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize