I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
