You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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