She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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