I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
