....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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