I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
