my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
