I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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