Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
