Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
