giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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