Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
