fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
