i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
