I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
