Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
