hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
