I don't think brook has ever known best
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
