i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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