I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
