i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
