the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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