just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
