So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
