Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
