We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
