butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
